Hunkering

In the last ten days our family has grown by one. And no matter how a family grows, whether through birth or adoption or, in our case, foster care, the whole family seems to just hunker down and get through it for a couple of weeks. Anyone who has had a child knows exactly what I mean. All of a sudden there's someone else to factor into everything you do, from breakfast to carpool to bathtime, and it just takes a while to get that new routine established and ordinary.

In our case, our new addition brought with her heartache, pain, and disorientation. Yes, she was gaining a spot in our home, but she was also losing her family (at least temporarily). So although Poptart and Jack and Sydney love each other and get along very well, she is still grieving and dealing with a huge loss. And establishing routines with a grieving child just takes a lot of.....hunkering.

So, when someone says, "How are the Iles doing with their new little girl?"

Say: "Oh, they're hunkering."

When I sit back and think of the impact that our decision to do foster care has had on our family, I am overwhelmed. Worry and anxiety creep in. What if Jack and Sydney aren't receiving the attention they deserve? What if they feel unloved? What if Jack secretly resents us for doing this? Will Sydney have a complex because her whole little life is so racked with siblings coming and going? The questions and doubts can creep in and monopolize my focus.

The day before Poptart came to us, our pastor preached a sermon on Psalm 34. I was home with sick Sydney and missed it, but I studied the chapter later on that night. What a timely sermon for our family!! Today during my quiet time I sat down and began to read this chapter again, and these verses jumped out at me:

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken." Ps. 34: 17-20

Our little Poptart is brokenhearted and crushed in spirit, but I know the Lord is close to her, because he promised he would be.

Our family is stretched and having to reorganize, but the Lord will protect our bones...not one of them will be broken.

Father, thank you for your Word.